Feb 7, 2012

Scared. And Strong.

Scared.   Almost always.  I push down fear like a beach-ball in a pool that stubbornly refuses to stay submerged.  There's a tightness in my chest.   I have to consciously remember to unhinge my jaw.
There are things to be completed: laundry, dishes, shopping for real food ~ but I can't afford the time, not now, I am busy running, racing, beating the darkened cloud of panic looming ominously overhead.   It's menacing, this situation. And I am scared.  Almost all of the time.    But it wouldn't be strength if it was comfortable or easy.  And every day, every moment that I persist I feel incredibly proud.

Fight or flight, and I'm sticken' around. 

"Courage is resistance to and mastery of fear - not the absence of fear." 
                                                                                       ~Mark Twain


AND strong.

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